Now everything in me wanted to throw my head back, belly laugh and say just that. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” But I didn’t. This is my cousins friend. My cousin who hasn’t seen me in ten plus years while this guy, what’s his name, Daniel? has been around. I need to remember that. I wouldn’t want to offend anyone or hurt feelings.
So I played along. I smiled with a slight giggle and put my name and number in his phone. I hope this wasn’t a mistake. In my experience moments like these always turned out to be mistakes. Last time I did this, it was a ten year mistake. We can blog all about that at a different time.
He looked super proud of himself, stepped towards the door and says, “I don’t have any plans tomorrow, we should hang out.”. I lift my eyebrows, give a smart ass smirk and say “ok, bro”. He seemed slightly hurt by my comment but there was still a bit of confidence and hope my response didn’t smash. The minute the door shut behind him I soun around to face my cousin and ask “did you put him up to this because I DO NOT need a pity flirt!”. He looks completely terrified, good to know i still have the ability to do that, “I swear I had nothing to do with it!”
“NOTHING!?” I ask believe not one bit of it.
“I swear nothing. He asked me who you were. When I told him he wanted to know how he never met you.” I am still looking at him like a lying stupid head. He nervously takes a swig of his beer and says again “I swear I had nothing to do with it. He’s a good guy though. You could at least message him and see what you think “. Yeah that wont be happening. Maybe. I say my goodbyes and leave into the chilly January night.
The entire drive home was filled with internal monolog of how this was a horrible idea and if I do message him back what could we possibly have in common? I know how this would go. The newly single guy would try and sweet talk the overweight girl who is presumed to have so low self-esteem that any bit of attention would get him laid until the next opportunity walks by. Jokes on you dude. Not this one. Not this time. Why is that a thing? Preying on the “weak ones”? Its pathetic, really. Sorry Daniel, find a new one because I’m not it.
I get home, talk the dog out to potty completely unable to get the entire interaction out of my head. Tons of “how dare he!” And “I just know this is a joke on me and I want no part of it”. I go back into the house, brush my teeth, get in bed and pick up my phone and start typing out a message letting him know that I am sorry for giving him my number but this isn’t going to end the way he is intending. The conversation went no where in that direction. At all.
How Did I Get Here? 